Comparison the joy killer

I type on a Monday morning, after a weekend filled with God's blessings.  Time with loved ones, working on well procrastinated things as well as sunshine & food.  I am tired, but my cup feels full & I'm ready for this season.  I went to church for the first time after stopping yesterday & it was helpful.  I will keep going and see how this space continues to build and cultivate what God is doing already inside of me.  

Enter comparison, a friend got engaged on the weekend & without conscious awareness of it, I question why not me.  All that I have, gets lost as I try to walk in her shoes.  It's not nice to experience, and the gratitude I have, gets threatened as fear & doubt creep in.  HOWEVER as I journeyed to work today I was reminded that this season for me lets be a lot of my life, learning how to celebrate the big wins for others.  Last week I found out a friend brought a house & I had the same feelings as I did last night, this was also after well needed time out of Auckland with family & breakthrough in generational circumstance in my family.  

And, that's all they are FEELINGS they pass, and I have a choice as to whether or not they lead me or I choose conviction.  I listened to a podcast last week, & one of the lines from it was there's no competition in the kingdom of God, only CELEBRATION.  This was really helpful & challenging as I was again in that space of woe is me why can't I have this or that.  I was convicted to get off social media & this has been helpful as well in not continuing to play the comparison game.  I don't want to participate in it anymore.  

This has been requiring intentionality, vulnerability with God and selected others and acknowledging yuck feelings, processing them but not sitting in them.  This will take work, but as I'm learning with all the other lesson's that it's worth it.  Currently healing & learning/unlearning is what this season is all about, and this was confirmed yesterday.  I'm not going to lie and say that I wish that I could just skip over it, as my flesh cries daily for the things that haven't happened yet.  I however am choosing to keep believing that my God is a promise keeper, and that He orchestrates these things, they'll be when He see's it's the right timing.

So I sit, choosing to be still, trusting that God has and is with me & resisting the urge to return to the comparison game.  Have a good day/week wherever you find yourself reading this!

God loves you big!

xoxo

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