awkwardisoverrated

So this post is all about relationships, the romantic kind.  I haven't written about this topic in awhile but I really feel challenged and ptl like I'm winning on this front now.  Today was like pushing water up a hill with it though (I digress).  So thankful that instead of being the girl that wore tight, low cut fitting clothes not for my gain but for the attention of others that God has truly shown me the gift that my body and intimacy are from Him and for my husband.  I'll break it down. In the past, I sought my value from whether or not I got the attention of male/s when I would go out.  I was that girl in the middle of the dance floor very drunk trying to pull those "I'm so HOT" look at me dance moves, to try and get the guy I was eyeing out on the other side of the room to approach me.  I lie, actually it was any of the guys I deemed hot around me to approach me, I didn't care who did as long as one of them did.  Writing that makes me squirm c...

So this past year has been a busy one.  It's been a year since I graduated! yay however according to my timing it's way past due time me finding a career from my degree! As God as been showing me my life works according to His schedule not mine.  I do struggle with this a lot because I love to plan! I'm a bit OCD but it's only because I like things running smoothly.  As I'm finding though in this last season as I've let go of my controlling ways and surrendered them to God, He has shown Himself faithful every time, every need that I've had it's always been filled by Him.  Works a small example I can use through out the later part of the year I was getting more hours at work, that I didn't really want cause the season was already busy as it was.  However in the moment the week after I had gotten those hours something popped up that the money that I had earned the previous week was needed for.  At the time I didn't really think or thank God for it ...