A revelation of love
Last night during quiet time I really felt like the Holy Spirit made me realize the value of God's love for me during the worship song of like incense. I've always known that God loves me, but I really felt God's presence show me this love through it, and it's stuck with me for most of the day today. As you can tell this season's so full on. I'm more appreciative of the time that I just get to sit, sometimes I do struggle to just sit and do nothing but I know its for my benefit.
So this revelation of love, came fully to me after just feeling tired and overwhelmed by everything retreat. The good thing about it is that I'm learning that its not my strength but by His spirit could feel His love for me last night and just felt so thankful for everything He's done so far for me and my family. I've been stressed, worried and anxious and felt so good just resting in Him. Could really feel God's presence last night in the quiet. Really realize God's teaching me to press into Him despite the distractions and not give into the lie that its too much because I know that with Him all things are possible learning that God meets me in my weaknesses and I don't have to struggle to keep my head above the waves cause He's right there in the water with me holding me up. I've felt like I'm on my own and a coping mechanism is to get everything I need to get done in my head and then delegate. This doesn't work as I'm finding out. After talking to others about being overwhelmed got some good advice but I still felt tired and worn out. I do still now but it's a daily journey.
So I went to God, despite my dryness despite feeling like I was so inadequate and unworthy I took my struggles to Him. All my insecurities are being highlighted throughout this committee and I've really felt loved and hated and under critique at many times but what I've come to realize ptl is that I need to keep going back to the reason that I do what I do. My feelings, and tiredness are worthless compared to what's at stake, we're at war and God is showing me that I can give Him my weariness and He will comfort me, strengthen me and make my way straight. It's not easy but I'm really realizing how loved I am by how God keeps turning up throughout these fundraising efforts He turns up in my tiredness, frustration and honest times with Him. He turns up in my grumpiness, weakness and at my lowest. As I'm pouring out, He's filling me with His strength so thankful for the bit I get to play in this season of my life. Resting in His perfect love for me in all my ugliness.
So this revelation of love, came fully to me after just feeling tired and overwhelmed by everything retreat. The good thing about it is that I'm learning that its not my strength but by His spirit could feel His love for me last night and just felt so thankful for everything He's done so far for me and my family. I've been stressed, worried and anxious and felt so good just resting in Him. Could really feel God's presence last night in the quiet. Really realize God's teaching me to press into Him despite the distractions and not give into the lie that its too much because I know that with Him all things are possible learning that God meets me in my weaknesses and I don't have to struggle to keep my head above the waves cause He's right there in the water with me holding me up. I've felt like I'm on my own and a coping mechanism is to get everything I need to get done in my head and then delegate. This doesn't work as I'm finding out. After talking to others about being overwhelmed got some good advice but I still felt tired and worn out. I do still now but it's a daily journey.
So I went to God, despite my dryness despite feeling like I was so inadequate and unworthy I took my struggles to Him. All my insecurities are being highlighted throughout this committee and I've really felt loved and hated and under critique at many times but what I've come to realize ptl is that I need to keep going back to the reason that I do what I do. My feelings, and tiredness are worthless compared to what's at stake, we're at war and God is showing me that I can give Him my weariness and He will comfort me, strengthen me and make my way straight. It's not easy but I'm really realizing how loved I am by how God keeps turning up throughout these fundraising efforts He turns up in my tiredness, frustration and honest times with Him. He turns up in my grumpiness, weakness and at my lowest. As I'm pouring out, He's filling me with His strength so thankful for the bit I get to play in this season of my life. Resting in His perfect love for me in all my ugliness.
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