what I learn and continue to learn about loss and faith

This last year has been crazy, to say the least. God has been faithful and it wasn't until last night that I really realized how good He's been to my family & I.  This year we lost our Mum to cancer and it sucked, it still sucks now everyday has it's challenges.  Nevertheless I have this peace in knowing that she's up there in Heaven with Jesus and our other loved ones and I'm going to see her again.  It hurts a lot when I think about the stuff that I won't be able to have my mum around for here on Earth but knowing that ultimately God has a bigger plan is what keeps me going.  We struggle a lot our whole lives have changed it will be 6 months this week that we won't have had our rock around.  It's been okay though it's been the relationships that I have aside from my family in addition to them that have kept me going.  A lot of the time I forget that this massive tragedy has happened to our family, I never thought that we'd be one of those families living without a parent so early in our lives.  But then I always remember that God knew.  Everything that has happened I'm learning God has had His hands on it.  He sees beyond the present and our understanding and through different circumstances He has prepared my family well for the passing of our mum.  I'm not saying that it's a walk in the park but what I am saying is that if it wasn't for God and being planted in His house I'd be falling apart.  I relied on my mum so much, she was my best friend and her leaving has left a massive hole in my heart.  However as the days go by God is filling it with Himself, through people, through whispers, through His word and encouragement from others or thinking about the great times I had with mum and the fact that I'll get to share everything with her in eternity that she's not here with us to do right now.  I have my days where all I want to do is not think about stuff that reminds me of my mum because it's too painful thinking about the loss we have to endure for the rest of our lives.  On the flip side I have great days where I'm filled with the hope that God has put us here on this Earth temporarily and Heaven waits for us, Jesus waits for us and extra woo my mums waiting for me too! I praise God for the rock that He has been to me and my family through this hard time cause I know without a doubt if it wasn't for Him our world's would be falling apart.  The bad stuff the enemy intends for evil God truly brings about for good, I can't brag enough about my siblings being able to continue with their studies after losing mum.  The hard work and determination I credit to God and using Mum and Dad to bring us up in a way where whatever challenge we face, we just get stronger through it, I thank God that my Dad is still able to get up and go to work everyday adjusting with speed bumps obviously without his wife.  I praise God for my niece and the constant reminder she is of my mum.  Even though it sucks mum won't be here for the rest of the time we're all here knowing not just hoping but knowing it's not going to be like this forever knowing that heaven waits for all of us is what keeps me focused on the end goal of glorifying God! I may not be where I want to be right now in terms of my career or health but I know that God is writing my story out each day that I wake up.  I'm learning to be faithful with what's in my hands today knowing He will take care of the rest.  The challenges aren't over for my family & I for sure but knowing that God is working all things together for our good strengthens me and fills me with faith that He's got it, He truly has!!!