A place I haven't been in a long time
Three posts in one night. Lol I'm definitely making up for lost time haha. So yes it has been about 9 months since I last posted. Craziest year of my life so far without a doubt. However God has been so faithful and loving it hasn't been easy but knowing that He's got me and my family is definitely what keeps me going!!! Our God is a good God and He is so faithful and loving towards us!
So bit of a diversion from my previous 2 posts which were about my beautiful mum! This one's about me and my relationship status. No. It hasn't changed. Unfortunately. Haha I laugh because I'm actually okay with it. Not enduring, not cheering and owning it but more like content with it. I've accepted that this is where God wants me and it's my job to do my best with it!. This place I don't think I've honestly been in my life. I've always been the pursuer of a relationship even before I got saved, I was always chasing as you would tell in my other posts. If I wasn't pursuing I'd be crushing on any guy that gave me the smallest bit of attention. If it was a massive crush than I'd be doing all I could do to get and keep his attention. However at this 25th year of my life I'm not pursuing, not crushing, not even wanting a relationship. I'm good with where I'm at. I had a omg moment today when I realized that I'm not even interested in anyone at the moment, obviously there are a few guys that are attractive but beyond that can't say much cause I don't know them well enough to say I'd date them. I had to think am I okay with this and then I did a oh there's so and so to maybe go after so I'm fine. But as I'm lying here I re-realized that even if there's no one in my life that has a romantic interest in me or vice versa I'm good! God has got me when He wants it to happen He will make it happen, a relationship isn't for my happiness but it's for the glory of God!! (got that from a mean book not my own revelation, lol wish it was though). Whether I'm still single in 5 years time I don't want to be but if God intends it to be that way, I'll be good, kicking and screaming along the way I'll be good haha. Knowing that the God of the universe has got great plans for my life and my future puts wanting to be in a relationship in perspective. It's just something that is not a priority right now for me and stressing about something that's beyond my control is pointless! so pointless & time-consuming. Deciding to own where I'm at, being faithful in this season.
This is a faraway land from where I've been in my life. Lol God has done a great work and continues to do amazingly work on me and the way I view relationships. Before the only qualifications a guy had to have to date me was to be attractive. That's it. I know right, I was so shallow and narrow minded. I'd be lying if I didn't say I longed for a hug or food when I was just too lazy to drive and get it on my own but knowing those things will come eventually in God's timing and way is freeing. Recently I got bounced AGAIN lol by another guy however I'm still standing and the whole situation has strengthened me & taught me a lot (mostly of what not to do haha) God has been amazing through it, it's like being told no wasn't as massive as I thought it would be. Clearly I bounce back from rejection amazingly! jokes but I can honestly say that I hold no animosity towards him, he's a really good guy and I wish him all the best in his life and love life. He's going to be a great husband someday, as I will be to someone just not him.
So this faraway land that I haven't occupied I feel like ever God has brought me to. I'm going to learn a lot in it. I know it going to get pruned quite a bit. Already feeling it and just got here. Know I'm going to get what God wants me to out of it! I'm determined to! With Him holding my hand through it I know I'll get through it, dying to self along the way but learning who I was really meant to be on the same journey too.
So bit of a diversion from my previous 2 posts which were about my beautiful mum! This one's about me and my relationship status. No. It hasn't changed. Unfortunately. Haha I laugh because I'm actually okay with it. Not enduring, not cheering and owning it but more like content with it. I've accepted that this is where God wants me and it's my job to do my best with it!. This place I don't think I've honestly been in my life. I've always been the pursuer of a relationship even before I got saved, I was always chasing as you would tell in my other posts. If I wasn't pursuing I'd be crushing on any guy that gave me the smallest bit of attention. If it was a massive crush than I'd be doing all I could do to get and keep his attention. However at this 25th year of my life I'm not pursuing, not crushing, not even wanting a relationship. I'm good with where I'm at. I had a omg moment today when I realized that I'm not even interested in anyone at the moment, obviously there are a few guys that are attractive but beyond that can't say much cause I don't know them well enough to say I'd date them. I had to think am I okay with this and then I did a oh there's so and so to maybe go after so I'm fine. But as I'm lying here I re-realized that even if there's no one in my life that has a romantic interest in me or vice versa I'm good! God has got me when He wants it to happen He will make it happen, a relationship isn't for my happiness but it's for the glory of God!! (got that from a mean book not my own revelation, lol wish it was though). Whether I'm still single in 5 years time I don't want to be but if God intends it to be that way, I'll be good, kicking and screaming along the way I'll be good haha. Knowing that the God of the universe has got great plans for my life and my future puts wanting to be in a relationship in perspective. It's just something that is not a priority right now for me and stressing about something that's beyond my control is pointless! so pointless & time-consuming. Deciding to own where I'm at, being faithful in this season.
This is a faraway land from where I've been in my life. Lol God has done a great work and continues to do amazingly work on me and the way I view relationships. Before the only qualifications a guy had to have to date me was to be attractive. That's it. I know right, I was so shallow and narrow minded. I'd be lying if I didn't say I longed for a hug or food when I was just too lazy to drive and get it on my own but knowing those things will come eventually in God's timing and way is freeing. Recently I got bounced AGAIN lol by another guy however I'm still standing and the whole situation has strengthened me & taught me a lot (mostly of what not to do haha) God has been amazing through it, it's like being told no wasn't as massive as I thought it would be. Clearly I bounce back from rejection amazingly! jokes but I can honestly say that I hold no animosity towards him, he's a really good guy and I wish him all the best in his life and love life. He's going to be a great husband someday, as I will be to someone just not him.
So this faraway land that I haven't occupied I feel like ever God has brought me to. I'm going to learn a lot in it. I know it going to get pruned quite a bit. Already feeling it and just got here. Know I'm going to get what God wants me to out of it! I'm determined to! With Him holding my hand through it I know I'll get through it, dying to self along the way but learning who I was really meant to be on the same journey too.
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