Work, rest, repeat

Today is my last day of work supervision, where I reflect on the 3 years that I've spent doing it.

The shy, only ever talked to person if they were spoken to, doubtful girl that didn't think she could do good work with the community she served.  A single 28 year old woman that had no children so of course wouldn't be able to work or relate to any of the families that I was tasked to.  I sat with my supervisor with heaps of passion but doubtful if what I had would be enough.  Someone fresh into the game, but out of conviction knowing that even when it didn't make sense I was meant to be here.

Flip 3 years forward and I often hear, but still struggle to believe others comment of how much I've grown.  I'm getting there in believing it when I see the work I produce & the grace that empowers me to do it.  Supervision has served me in the sense I get to reflect on my practice & growth and develop/be challenged in the cases I'm having difficulty with.  Supervision has been a tool that I've been blessed with that's increased my self-esteem & widened my way of thinking.  I've vented, cried, word vomited, and all the rest with my supervisor which have all been pivotal in helping me to become who I am now.  God has been so kind in this, as well as the work community/family I'm a part of.

When I consider my practice and where I am now, the person who was naive, doubting & shy has gone.  She tries to pop her head up still sometimes, but God in his kindness reminds me to keep pressing forward.  Into the strong, God confident woman that tries her hardest to really serve my community with integrity, grace & love.  Doing all I can to show hope to others that there really is light at the end of the tunnel.  At the end of supervision I was told that I had gone from supervisee to supervising.  This was really cool to hear and reflect on the growth God has done within me in my time at Te Whare.  

The next season of work begins for me as that door closes.  This has looked a lot lately unlearning passive aggressiveness & navigating hard and very awkward conversations.  This has not been perfect, like honestly nothing really is.  However I'm going to keep trying.  It has also looked like managing a workload that seems to have someone/something needing my attention.  We have an audit next month, report due next month, NZSWRB stage one application due as well as our normal jobs/tasks to do.  There's heaps going on at home too.  I trust that even feeling like I'm being stretched on every front, God will help me to not break & use this season for sanctification & to help others see Him in my everydayness.

Wherever you find yourself as you read this.  I pray that you allow God to keep leading you through it, if you're getting stretched, in a season of rest or a bit of both I hope you keep trusting that God has all of you & it.  

God loves you BIG!

xox

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