the struggle in the wait
Waiting; the action of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or event as defined google. There's loads more but for today's post I'll use this one. Waiting as a christian takes the pressure off of ourselves and put it on God the reality is in my life I find this to be one of the biggest battles I face daily.
The period of my life I'm in there's pressure coming from everywhere to hurry up and do something. Whether that be to hurry up and start my career, or the most pronounced one in the church for me is to hurry up and get into a relationship so I can get married and then start a family. It's a struggle that isn't easy especially when all over social media most people my age are getting married, and having babies. I hear God whisper that that isn't my story it's there's and in my head I know that's true, it's getting it into my heart where I struggle. Closer to home my siblings are both having children who are younger then me and then my brother is getting married in November. Don't get me wrong this is not my attempt at having a pity party. If anything this is me simply trying to express how hard it can be to continue living out my purpose when voices are screaming at me that it's wrong and that I'm not supposed to be where I'm at.
Everyday I wake up and I'm on leave at the moment but when I'm not I go to work, be faithful in the job I'm at, finish, run errands and pick ups and then I eat, go to CG, come home and read then sleep. It's my mission field right now and yes to some it could be boring (to me it can be sometimes) but to others it could be what they want to be doing right now. My point is that for most humans where they are at is not where they want to be, or we are always after more then what we have and are doing. Where I'm at is not where I want to be for the rest of my life and I know it's not God's plan for my life to be stuck in the same place He calls us to want and do more for Him in each day and every season of our lives. Right now I'm working part-time, help out with my family too, helping to build our young adult's ministry and in the process of finding another job and single too. In the wait for more, I truly have learned that what I'm doing now is in preparation for where God is going to take me next. I have had to learn how to like a sponge learn how to gather every lesson from what I'm doing now in preparation for the next season in my life. For example the lessons I'm learning in my family have taught me a lot about putting others needs before my own, running errands for me and others has taught me flexibility and how to multi-task, building loud out in my campus has taught me and continues to teach me humility and my need for God. I'd be lying if I didn't say that this waiting and learning period of my life hasn't brought me to tears and tantrums with God especially waiting for my husband (in the church the older you get the more pressure put on you to settle down). However I'm determined to glean and learn and develop everything God wants me to in it. My impatience, my controlling ways, my reliance on self and comparison all need to die before God can lead my husband to me. My ways of thinking, selfishness, gossip and lust all need to be surrendered to God in this wait. When it comes to my career, yes I have a degree but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm ready for the job God has for me next. The experience, lessons and relationships I've developed at Postie will be important in where God takes me to next.
The intention for this post was to rant and rave about my struggle in the wait, and I think I've done that but as always through processing and seeing the silver lining to where I'm at encourages me to be faithful in this wait. It calls me to own where I'm at now and be faithful because He is faithful and He is the one that is in control. To end if you're struggling in the wait, take heart we serve a God that has got our whole lives planned out it may not feel like it at times but be encouraged that He won't leave us hanging and the wait hasn't not got a purpose! He's got you and loves you!
God loves you BIG!
Kerri XOx
The period of my life I'm in there's pressure coming from everywhere to hurry up and do something. Whether that be to hurry up and start my career, or the most pronounced one in the church for me is to hurry up and get into a relationship so I can get married and then start a family. It's a struggle that isn't easy especially when all over social media most people my age are getting married, and having babies. I hear God whisper that that isn't my story it's there's and in my head I know that's true, it's getting it into my heart where I struggle. Closer to home my siblings are both having children who are younger then me and then my brother is getting married in November. Don't get me wrong this is not my attempt at having a pity party. If anything this is me simply trying to express how hard it can be to continue living out my purpose when voices are screaming at me that it's wrong and that I'm not supposed to be where I'm at.
Everyday I wake up and I'm on leave at the moment but when I'm not I go to work, be faithful in the job I'm at, finish, run errands and pick ups and then I eat, go to CG, come home and read then sleep. It's my mission field right now and yes to some it could be boring (to me it can be sometimes) but to others it could be what they want to be doing right now. My point is that for most humans where they are at is not where they want to be, or we are always after more then what we have and are doing. Where I'm at is not where I want to be for the rest of my life and I know it's not God's plan for my life to be stuck in the same place He calls us to want and do more for Him in each day and every season of our lives. Right now I'm working part-time, help out with my family too, helping to build our young adult's ministry and in the process of finding another job and single too. In the wait for more, I truly have learned that what I'm doing now is in preparation for where God is going to take me next. I have had to learn how to like a sponge learn how to gather every lesson from what I'm doing now in preparation for the next season in my life. For example the lessons I'm learning in my family have taught me a lot about putting others needs before my own, running errands for me and others has taught me flexibility and how to multi-task, building loud out in my campus has taught me and continues to teach me humility and my need for God. I'd be lying if I didn't say that this waiting and learning period of my life hasn't brought me to tears and tantrums with God especially waiting for my husband (in the church the older you get the more pressure put on you to settle down). However I'm determined to glean and learn and develop everything God wants me to in it. My impatience, my controlling ways, my reliance on self and comparison all need to die before God can lead my husband to me. My ways of thinking, selfishness, gossip and lust all need to be surrendered to God in this wait. When it comes to my career, yes I have a degree but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm ready for the job God has for me next. The experience, lessons and relationships I've developed at Postie will be important in where God takes me to next.
The intention for this post was to rant and rave about my struggle in the wait, and I think I've done that but as always through processing and seeing the silver lining to where I'm at encourages me to be faithful in this wait. It calls me to own where I'm at now and be faithful because He is faithful and He is the one that is in control. To end if you're struggling in the wait, take heart we serve a God that has got our whole lives planned out it may not feel like it at times but be encouraged that He won't leave us hanging and the wait hasn't not got a purpose! He's got you and loves you!
God loves you BIG!
Kerri XOx
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