The cup's always half full

So today I started my new role today.  It was good, as much as I would love to be inputting into the lives of women and children in terms of where I want my career in God has put me in this place for now.  Doing a task, that can be repetitive and boring but is meant to teach me some stuff that I need to learn.  Being in charge of stock although small in terms of the dreams God has put on my heart, I have come to the realization that it's in preparation for where I will be going in due season.  When I think about it the role is vital in the running of the store, if there's no stock then there's nothing to sell, no profit for the company and workers in it and no income for many people and families.  It can be applied to any role really, it's not like I'm going to work everyday without purpose, it has one not just the one I thought I'd be fulfilling in my age that I'm now.  I really think God has set this massive dream on my heart which scares me because I don't know how I'm going to get from here all the way to there, and then I hear rest my girl I've got in under control. I woke up this morning with this reassurance that God is sovereign and where I'm at now is only for a season & a season that is teaching me a lot of things actually and allowed me to be there for others in a way that I probably won't be able to do again in the next job that I take on.  Time management, learning to pick up the pace at tasks, being patient and understanding, treating people with respect regardless of how they treat you, efficient ways of doing things, areas of improvement like the need to be quicker at tasks, how to listen and not cut people off and also how to separate my relationships from work and at home.  It's also  not a high stress job (most times) and the hours have suited the crazy season my family is in right now too.  Without mum being around we've all had to make big adjustments, it's not easy and having a full time role in social services would be overwhelming.   LOL working with others and helping them with their stuff all the while trying to work through the ones we're going through as a family and on our own, would be waaaay too much.  I'm thankful that God keeps showing up and is teaching me to be patient and faithful in this season that I'm in.  And that's all it is it's a season that's teaching me and helping me to become more like Jesus everyday (especially when a customer is going off at you for something that you have no control over LOL which is a lot of the time).  I'm not perfect and if I'm being completely honest, if I had my way in my life, my mum would still be here, I'd be working for a Non-profit, I would be be dating on the road to marriage and be traveling.  However God has had other plans for me, and as I'm learning day by day that my life is not my own and none of these things are happening for me right now.  That verse that Paul writes about being content at all times comes to mind it says ALL times not sometimes & as each day happens although it's a daily struggle that as long as my heart, behavior and mind are fixed on being faithful with what's in my hands I'm learning contentment.  Although I have my days where I'm comparing myself to the person next to me envious of where they are and what they have.  I have to hit myself and go back to the truth of at the end of the day, we are all running our own races when we leave Earth God isn't going to ask me about how someone else lived He's going to be asking about how I ran my race and used what was given to me in my hands.  Comparison really does steal joy, and is a waste of time.  One thing that I've also learned in this season is obedience and the dying of self, many times I have wanted to run away and avoid doing certain things and events because of what it's going to do and my image.  However it really doesn't matter how I'm perceived by people when I do things, when I step back cause God's the only one that I'm meant to be pleasing & this is freeing cause I don't have to worry about the opinions of others.  As long as I am honoring God in my conduct and heart that's all that matters.  I'm so thankful that I have a God that loves me despite my shortcomings, insecurities, disobedience, failures and He doesn't only love me but desires for me to have an amazing life filled with His purpose here on Earth and in eternity.  I'm so thankful that God is in control of my life, in light of what's happened in Paris over the weekend, my heart goes out to all of the people affected by this tragedy and I'm praying for all of them and as scary as it can be, I'm grateful that God is still in control and that He's got a plan to turn this destruction into good.