overwhelmed by questions
Lately I've been entrusted to look after our committee fundraising and looking after the logistics for our campus's young adults retreat next year. It's been a ride so far and only after a month I've realized things inside of me that God is working on and pruning through the work in it. In the past I've always been able to be in the background, do my bit and contribute this way. However I'm in new water now, having to talk about openly problems and encouraging solutions to be created. Tonight it didn't all come apart but I realized that I do wing things quite a bit on the security that someone will pick me up. I don't have that comfort in this. I'm really having to depend on God and others who are relying on me to make calls.
I've realized I'm very double minded and I second guess myself a lot. I am realizing that a lot of it is stemming from making sure everyone's being heard and aren't being hurt. I've failed a lot in this regard cause our boys haven't felt like they're being heard and I'm determined to see this change. I listened tonight and collectively as a group we made calls. There's still a lot to prepare for Thursday and am praying and believing God to turn up massively logistically, and spiritually because in all of this busyness it's brought a lot of distraction.
Stuff that doesn't get me down has been. I've realized that even though for the most part I don't worry about the opinions of others. When it comes to leadership I do. I'm quite a people pleaser and God has opened my eyes to this. As well as my indecisiveness, it's pruning at its best definitely being reminded of my flesh and need for God in this journey. If you can, ask that you please pray for our group and these fundraising efforts cause we know that's it's not about the money we raise but it is in the fact that it will enable people to get into God soaked environments for encounters with Him! cause it would be nothing without Him there have to always come back to Him cause He's the reason we do what we do! appreciate your prayers in this effort! it's massive but we know God is bigger!
On a different note, I have been distracted more so with a guy that I haven't been in a while. It's frustrating cause I refuse to go 10 steps backwards after what God's done in and through me recently when it comes to relationships and romance. When I was speaking to my friend about dating, listening to the conversation that we had I realized the work that God has done in me. It's not until I actually look at the fruit of what God's done, that I'm thankful for this journey He continues to help me along.
I used to be obsessed with every little bit of this guys life and we were texting quite a bit, after two rejections later as hard as it being around him I know that God is bigger than my feelings. I'm determined to stand on truth His word, to keep me going forward. God willing if anything is meant to happen other than what already has, I'm determined to keep doing things His way and not my own! been hurt too much in the past to go backwards again. I was so happy and proud that even though I was in a situation that in the past would've annoyed me, being honest at first I was. I didn't react in the way that I did before. Coming to the realization that God is a smart God who is perfectly capable of writing my life and love story without any interruption from me. Period. Even though stuff that would make me obsess over happened tonight, I'm choosing to let go. God is bigger. Bigger than my thoughts, assumptions & experiences & glances & fleeting feelings He's bigger! my Adam is being made and I'm a wait patiently arresting my dead flesh along the way. Pray for me too please cause I know this is going to be a difficult journey! But God has it, He has!
I've realized I'm very double minded and I second guess myself a lot. I am realizing that a lot of it is stemming from making sure everyone's being heard and aren't being hurt. I've failed a lot in this regard cause our boys haven't felt like they're being heard and I'm determined to see this change. I listened tonight and collectively as a group we made calls. There's still a lot to prepare for Thursday and am praying and believing God to turn up massively logistically, and spiritually because in all of this busyness it's brought a lot of distraction.
Stuff that doesn't get me down has been. I've realized that even though for the most part I don't worry about the opinions of others. When it comes to leadership I do. I'm quite a people pleaser and God has opened my eyes to this. As well as my indecisiveness, it's pruning at its best definitely being reminded of my flesh and need for God in this journey. If you can, ask that you please pray for our group and these fundraising efforts cause we know that's it's not about the money we raise but it is in the fact that it will enable people to get into God soaked environments for encounters with Him! cause it would be nothing without Him there have to always come back to Him cause He's the reason we do what we do! appreciate your prayers in this effort! it's massive but we know God is bigger!
On a different note, I have been distracted more so with a guy that I haven't been in a while. It's frustrating cause I refuse to go 10 steps backwards after what God's done in and through me recently when it comes to relationships and romance. When I was speaking to my friend about dating, listening to the conversation that we had I realized the work that God has done in me. It's not until I actually look at the fruit of what God's done, that I'm thankful for this journey He continues to help me along.
I used to be obsessed with every little bit of this guys life and we were texting quite a bit, after two rejections later as hard as it being around him I know that God is bigger than my feelings. I'm determined to stand on truth His word, to keep me going forward. God willing if anything is meant to happen other than what already has, I'm determined to keep doing things His way and not my own! been hurt too much in the past to go backwards again. I was so happy and proud that even though I was in a situation that in the past would've annoyed me, being honest at first I was. I didn't react in the way that I did before. Coming to the realization that God is a smart God who is perfectly capable of writing my life and love story without any interruption from me. Period. Even though stuff that would make me obsess over happened tonight, I'm choosing to let go. God is bigger. Bigger than my thoughts, assumptions & experiences & glances & fleeting feelings He's bigger! my Adam is being made and I'm a wait patiently arresting my dead flesh along the way. Pray for me too please cause I know this is going to be a difficult journey! But God has it, He has!
Comments
Post a Comment