The new new

Currently at work, but feel the need to post.

So this season has been different, really different.  I'm now helping more at church with Youth, which I've never done before.  It's really uncomfortable though, like omg fully have been pushed/pulled/thrown into the deep end.  

I've also been learning to be more bold & assertive at work with the decisions I make.  It's been very difficult to develop this, cause naturally I don't stir the pot.  I'm also learning that I don't have to do everything to help the world.  Ideally I think I like doing a lot cause in my mind, I have a limited time here so I want to smash it all out while I can.  Not for me but for helping others.  I realised that I'm being very drained though cause I've felt super drained.  I go to sleep at a decent hour, but still feel quite tired during the day.  I've had numerous chats about the need to find and discover good self care for me.  

In discovering this, I realise that I'm very simple.  Like so simple, for me to rest I just need to be around nature.  I obviously need to not have wifi, but other then a book food and good drinks I'm good.  I like being out of Auckland, it really resets me and gives me perspective.  So I need to be intentional about making time to do this.  During work time, though I think the next best thing is me silently or listening to worship music reading.  This or watching movies.  These are the ways my mind switches off.

Life update, I'm learning that in the wait, although riddled with doubt & insecurity, learning that I'm worth the wait.  I'm learning patience & self control like I've never learnt before.  You know when you can see something, it's very easy to just snatch it and do it your way.  In this wait, I'm learning that it's nice waiting and really working on me, and waiting.  I guess after 10 years I think what's a bit longer, it's not going to kill me.  Ha!  

Learning that in the new new as I embrace doing things I've never done before it's been a challenge but really good for my soul.  I've also learnt a whole bunch about where I've put idols up and Jesus is helping me to knock these down one at a time.  So as I get into my work day, my encouragement would be to embrace the new, hey do it scared cause it's in these moments I've really discovered life and life at it's fullest, face plants & all!

God loves you so big!!

xoxox

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