The in between

 It's December 2020 and in 30 days we will farewell the year that everyone wants to forget.

I'll be honest, to a degree this is me but mostly this year has brought several changes for me that I didn't actually think would be beneficial.  Imagine having most of what is familiar, habit & "traits" pulled, prodded & uprooted.  My environment has not changed much but it's the inner working God's been doing that literally has me more grateful than I've ever been.

It's like the blinders are coming off, past hurts that use to determine my reactions & thoughts no longer have this hold on me (it's a daily process, I don't think I will ever reach the point that I arrive until I leave this earth).  I'm that person that over thinks the shiz out of everything.  To a degree I still do, in parts of me & life that impact my heart mostly.  However what 2020 has taught me is what I once thought was a stable  part of my life/personality is not.  It's taught me that as much as I attempt to control my life, none of it actually is apart from the choices we make.  God is the one that holds it all together & orchestrates it exactly the way it's meant to.

2020 has taught me what I actually need to value, that life is way too short to spend it on things & people that only drain/take away from your energy.  God has & keeps teaching me how to steward well what's in my hands.  That has looked a lot like letting go of the things/people that take up parts of my heart that are only meant for him.  It has also looked a lot like discovering who I am a part of the helping, doing busy Kerri-Anne.  God literally has handicapped me in the later parts of the year to strip me of my detrimental thinking & behavioural patterns.  I have been in a sling for going onto 5 weeks today in the busiest part of my year.  A house move, office/team change and the craziest part of year for work & family life.  I have had to sit still amongst all of it.  I still find myself moving around trying to help at times forgetting about my sling LOL but quickly getting told by others to sit down.

No one but God could've seen what 2020 was going to look like.  In it and through Him I have way more than what I don't, which I know to say is a blessing & privilege.  God has been so kind & loving even in the ugly moments.    I empathise with those that have lost so much too, and I think & pray that as we all end the year we can focus on applying all the lessons this year has taught us in the time we have left to come.

I probably won't do another blog for the year, so for whoever reads this, merry christmas, God's blessings on you & your loved ones in this holiday period we have coming up!!

God loves you so much whatever state or season you find yourself in!


xoxo

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