Getting unstuck
It's been waaaaay too long since I last posted, it's been a crazy year! Doing this on my break so it's going to be a hard and fast one!
May of this year I moved churches cause I felt like I lacked community. Being in a church where I had been for 9 years needed a change, it was also because I stepped out of leadership and got lost in doing so. Yes I could've been more intentional about getting into a regional group, but I guess there were faults on both sides with this change. Nevertheless I'm at another church where I've got a good community around me and I don't just feel like another face in the crowd.
I also am now working full time at my job yay!!!!!!, it's long today cause it's summer so everyone else is on annual leave. Not that I'm complaining about the slowness of it, cause anticipate a busy, busy year next year :). I've got some new friends, broke up with my best friend (ha I laugh cause it actually has felt like it) but learning to embrace relational changes as they happen. Learning to hold things loosely, and not tie my value in them cause I did this in the past and wound up hurt/hurting others because of it. Still living out South with my fam & enjoying the season of being Aunty (even though I get the usual "you need to hurry up" "your not getting any younger" about my impending aging. I used to stress out about it, but I love being an Aunty and being single cause I've learnt so much in it (actually not the fake "I"m good, but dying inside ones"). Witnessing other relationships unfold, and develop have made me more determined to wait for whoever God puts in my path. I don't want to settle especially in this massive decision, I've (tyj) even learn to see guys for stuff besides their faces. Still appreciative of them, but know that the outside is as nearly important as I used to think it was. I want and will wait for a man who's heart is actually after God (cause now I believe they exist), a man that pushes me towards more of Jesus, and the things I'm meant to be doing. I've learnt that becoming okay, with being the only one in my fam unmarried with no kids cause I have time. I'm learning that I'm worth a great Godly man and I believe that all girls are. Just have to wait it out, I think that since I've been single for almost 10 years it's algud. My life is not the sum of if I get married and have babies. It's so much then that. God has been so good to me in the last year, and not that my hope is in the blessings I've received, I've learnt that by being obedient to him, however uncomfortable & hard it is is worth it. Do I have day's where I feel like reading the bible is a chore, and nothing is speaking to me, yes! nevertheless I still read it cause it's doing something to me internally. I've gone from a works mentality to doing things because I love Jesus! getting planted in another church is exactly what God needed to do to get me unstuck.
This was so much longer then I anticipated, but I hope that this encourages somebody. The struggle in single season can be real, and painful. Change happening all at once can be overwhelming but when it's God creating and unsticking things that aren't meant to be there it's worth it. I obviously am still a single lady and learning heaps about God and me, but learning math going for the answers of prayers aren't the goal. The goal is getting closer to Jesus, and I'm learning this beautiful lesson in this season in my life. If you're feeling like everything isn't changing or everything changing, trust that God is orchestrating something beautiful in your life, as you allow him to meet you in the middle of whatever season you're in. Stay close to Him, it's worth it :)
May of this year I moved churches cause I felt like I lacked community. Being in a church where I had been for 9 years needed a change, it was also because I stepped out of leadership and got lost in doing so. Yes I could've been more intentional about getting into a regional group, but I guess there were faults on both sides with this change. Nevertheless I'm at another church where I've got a good community around me and I don't just feel like another face in the crowd.
I also am now working full time at my job yay!!!!!!, it's long today cause it's summer so everyone else is on annual leave. Not that I'm complaining about the slowness of it, cause anticipate a busy, busy year next year :). I've got some new friends, broke up with my best friend (ha I laugh cause it actually has felt like it) but learning to embrace relational changes as they happen. Learning to hold things loosely, and not tie my value in them cause I did this in the past and wound up hurt/hurting others because of it. Still living out South with my fam & enjoying the season of being Aunty (even though I get the usual "you need to hurry up" "your not getting any younger" about my impending aging. I used to stress out about it, but I love being an Aunty and being single cause I've learnt so much in it (actually not the fake "I"m good, but dying inside ones"). Witnessing other relationships unfold, and develop have made me more determined to wait for whoever God puts in my path. I don't want to settle especially in this massive decision, I've (tyj) even learn to see guys for stuff besides their faces. Still appreciative of them, but know that the outside is as nearly important as I used to think it was. I want and will wait for a man who's heart is actually after God (cause now I believe they exist), a man that pushes me towards more of Jesus, and the things I'm meant to be doing. I've learnt that becoming okay, with being the only one in my fam unmarried with no kids cause I have time. I'm learning that I'm worth a great Godly man and I believe that all girls are. Just have to wait it out, I think that since I've been single for almost 10 years it's algud. My life is not the sum of if I get married and have babies. It's so much then that. God has been so good to me in the last year, and not that my hope is in the blessings I've received, I've learnt that by being obedient to him, however uncomfortable & hard it is is worth it. Do I have day's where I feel like reading the bible is a chore, and nothing is speaking to me, yes! nevertheless I still read it cause it's doing something to me internally. I've gone from a works mentality to doing things because I love Jesus! getting planted in another church is exactly what God needed to do to get me unstuck.
This was so much longer then I anticipated, but I hope that this encourages somebody. The struggle in single season can be real, and painful. Change happening all at once can be overwhelming but when it's God creating and unsticking things that aren't meant to be there it's worth it. I obviously am still a single lady and learning heaps about God and me, but learning math going for the answers of prayers aren't the goal. The goal is getting closer to Jesus, and I'm learning this beautiful lesson in this season in my life. If you're feeling like everything isn't changing or everything changing, trust that God is orchestrating something beautiful in your life, as you allow him to meet you in the middle of whatever season you're in. Stay close to Him, it's worth it :)
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